Oh God !! tussi great ho

Its her second month. She is far beyond happiness, family is contented & full of pleasure. At last, their prayers are answered. Husband watch her with careful eyes comforting her on every move. Mother-In-Law shares her words of wisdom while she listen to every bit of it with thorough attention. Her two angles wonder about her being so special. When told, they are full of joy. The feel of being responsible & elderly thrills them. It's nothing less than a festival at their house. She looks at all the faces, smiles contentedly & close her eyes for a wish she longed for.

As active as a bee she stays for the next 3 months. She stick to her routine keeping a hold on every thing. Well, "Lady of the house" have its own list of obligations. Making everything as perfect as he could, she & her husband leave for the ritual. This is the only change she has accommodated & followed without fail. No matter how severe morning sickness be, how unpleasant it may get to walk down 2 levels of staircase, nausea prompted by the debris Mamta collected - she is immune to all when to comes to god. He has grant her half of wish and now she wont leave anything undone to make him grant the remaining. Going to the temple & lighting a diya is something to be followed as strictly as god's own words & she follows this as her guiding light. After all, God is patron of last resort and her case is of utmost urgency. Its just few months left. She stills feel guilt of not following it from the day her husband laid her on bed to quench her desire. It would have been better to go from that very day, she mumble. I ll double the count of chants anyway, she decides. 

The two innocent angels admire her dedication. Burdened with the forced elderly charm, they look around for something to be offered by them. Keen on getting the family wish granted, they do the least expected. Giving up their favorite snack - Gol Gappa. Yes, they wont be relishing it until God answers their prayer. 

While my mother narrates all this to me, i carelessly asks - What if a girl arrives ? Do God have time to make a deal with chromosome or else if the power of lighting a diya is as much as changing the gender of conceived baby, why don't defense minster pray for a "Sudarshan Chakra" at Border. God is the most, truly the most we try to fool. And now, i seriously waited for the result. So that i do a better try next. So, here i declared a silent war against the dedicated prayers keeping the sanity & IQ of God at stake. You better lose this time, i mumbled. Though, to be honest i never believe him to be my side. He always doze off when it comes to my wishes. Acting the most devoted bhakt & trying it the first & last time, i took on to say a silent prayer everyday. 

Few days back when i was munching on gujiyas & mathris unaware of the contractions happening in my neighborhood (i pity my social skills), mamma come to me to inform "You have won beta" "lakshmi aayi hai. Poor Lady, she did every pooja with conviction & belief. Its rightly said that we shouldn't fight to get what is not in our destiny." She leave to get more updates & console the angles who couldn't stop crying while i wink at God. Thumbs up man, you truly stands by your name. Now please grant me a thing i ask for - At least provide them with the wisdom to bring up this child with care & love. Let her not suffer the curse of being an unwanted child. And, there i go to get some more mathris in my bowl. Though i feel bad for dwindling sale of nukkad wale gol gappe wala 😋

Turmoil

My days are no longer small
nights provide no comfort call
Each moment crawls by
making heart heavier
every word uttered seems to come
from a hollow me

Who to look up to

When you are wrapped up with
probably something of substance
calling me a burden too hefty
to carry on a peaceful night
in search of a thing so divine
stopping you from looking behind

Whom should i complain to

of the cold shoulder
i shudder to accept
a vacuum thus formed
swallowing all the balm
stranger glance, i fail to get
hundreds of instincts unanswered yet

How to get over

a thing so unlooked for
when I wish for an unending adore
it hurts to be all alone
when least consideration is shown
though i quarrel with me much more
to brave & last it, saving what is yours








 

For you, a million times over

When every day is a battle to fight
brutal murders, sinking heart
you dread the next day to arrive

For you, a million times over

Shall i provide
a face of hope, courage & pride

Every morning when you open eyes
sunshine invades
your space gives up to the plight

For you, a million times over

Shall i be there
with a guard, poise & certainty

At every scream you let out
for the unaccomplished
speaking of the mess about

For you, a million times over

Shall i soothe
words of tranquil, ease & comfort

Each of the harsh you utter
to avoid & restrain
all kind words

For you, a million times over

Shall i come
like a stubborn ever more

I am much more

when you see a little of me
shedding tears
& laugh it off
how do i tell I am much more 

My zombie like walk, smile & laughter
you watch past
without a care
Do you hear me screaming I am much more

To-do or Not when a routine
you put off your ears to all
& just being numb
I wish i could tell you I am much more

How the black dress created a scene
& you took no effort to explain
frowns did you gave
so badly i wanted to declare I am much more 

HOPE

When I look at you with stars in my eyes

Your smile assures me to keep the bright

I wait & wait till the bright fades

Look up to you with a question this time

Your kind face calms & forget not to smile

I wait & wait till my wit leaves

Comes to you with a tear this time

You give me your hand & again just a quiet

I wait this time with all my might

Promising to me not a visit this time

However do I be hard with me

Its’only you my dear hope I cling to

is it me who cant stay far
or is it simply your love to see the breaking star
no doubt its your way to adjourn

persistent i get with your every hush
i shall come with my bright, wit & might
for the time till i get my delight

& after that too...for i know you are for me "Hope"

Wo mulaqat

Abhi kuch roz pehle he

Ye ajeeb si baat hui

Ki jane wale lamhe se kuch yun mulaqat hui

Jub tha wo jane ki behadd jaldi mein

Aur roka mein ne usko, ruka to

Par mann na tha uska

Kehne laga ab jane do,

Chodo ab jub wo baat gayi

Tum dono ke beech ke wo

Na fursat ke din h, na meethi si raat rahi

Hairaan sa hote hue jub toka mein ne

Par jate kaha ho, hum yahi to hain

Dekho to pehle jaise he

Hass kar humpe, hamare badalne ka andaz kuch yun baya kiya usne

Gayi kaha wo nadaaniya jo hoti thi chidhane ko

Ab to haste ho to bhi lagta hai mano khushi nhi jatane ko

 khali sa jo glass rhta hai pada kisi kone mein

Wo bhi ab to bhul gya ki rehte ho tum bhi isi ghar mein

Sooni si balcony jise mila krte thi wo gulaabi raatein

Rehti hai ab intezaar mein koi ek baar use bhi pukaare

Takiye jo kabhi karte the pyaar ki takraar

Ab bhoj hai unpe karwate badalte do ajnabiyo ki raat

chakit dekh mujhe fir bola wo

Sun liya bahut ya ab bhi kuch sun na baaki h

Jee kar dekho wo samay fir se

Shayad fir lage pata ki lamhe zindagi se nhi milte

Lamho se zindagi banana baaki hai

Jab “Yun He…” hum the

Yun he subah ke chaddar se jub dikhte the

Aasma pe bane hue wo nishaa

Baya kare jo tute taro ki dastaan

Unse he to sikhe hum jakhm le kar, dawa se rooth jana

Yun dopahar mein khidki ke kone se suni humne

Girti sambhalti un boodo ki kahaniya

Jo jati thi kisi seep mein dhundhne apna aashiya

Kehti gyi humse pyaar mein khud na hokar bhi usko pana

Khushnuma shaam ko yun he khali se ho kar baithe hum

Hawa jo aati thi zara si nami liye

Us ke he bhatke jhoko ne sikhayi aisi awargi

Ki bhul baithe hum bhi apna-sa lagne wala jahaa

Yun he jub raat ki bhi koshish hoti thi sulane ki

chand ki roshni jo aati thi har raat aangan to lagane gale

kuch is tarah gungati thi wo intezaar ka afsana

sikh gaye fir hum bhi sukhe hue aasuyo ke nishaa mitana….

Ye jo har ghadi tum puchte the hamara haal

Us muskurahat k taale mein bandh hui meri aawaz

kis tarah kehti dil ko lagi thes ka wo bhula sa kissa

“yun he”…nhi de pati thi koi jawaab

Family teaches lesson

I am not one of the kinds who would go to any level for revenge. If you all wonder why have i started at such a hostile note, let me tell you that i have been suffering strengthening by #people'sjudgement&tags they have adorned me with since last month. Now when i say "People" don't assume it to be those related/known to me blindly following the long lines of relations-Grapevine. No, they are the ones with whom i have shared my memorable childhood. It would not be wrong to admit that they used to be the closest sometime. Having known them for years & staying like #cousinsforlife admiring them for the way they cared & loved me, i never imagined our relations to create bad taste ever in my life.

We never knew that the bear hugs we shared will soon be called off with nasty exchange of words. Not an exchange because i am bought up by an over the board patient & forgiving parents. They have remained fervently consistent without losing a bit of their emotional balance. However, not to their extent but i have been gifted by the same virtues. How easy it is to be a foul-mouth with out calculating the risk of losing what all grace has been earned till the time. It doesn't take even a micro second to serve a plate of rumors topped with lemon & coriander leaf which is found equally relishing by the ones who get to savor that. In fact they not only stops there but get high by the mere thought of burping after that. 

Watching these things closely, i have been experiencing a divine feeling of being contented. I feel a vigorous wave of positivism gushing throughout my nerves. What if am younger to them, i know i have been sensitive, understanding & more mature to handle things on my own. I am thankful to my parents who instead of pampering me & suffering my tantrums, inculcated values to be a good human being. They taught me to be respectful for younger as well & never encouraged an insane boasting of my implied authority over others. So for now the mantra is -

For those who claim to reach the stars

Indeed loses their grounds to land

balance goes for a toss & heart goes drained

Do you get some breath or it too falls for your temper

Go get a splash for the ego so high

may it clear the clog of your wise

55 Words Fiction - A precious Gift !!!

Door bell made her leave the seat, bookmarking the webpage. It took some time for her to open the door against the cruel dry summer afternoon wind. 

Moments before her eyes open properly, tiny hands give her something. Unable to say anything to that infectious smile, she started licking "Orange Bar" at door. Simple Pleasures !!!

It all happened overnight !!!

I never believed in the theory of people turning up-side down, (not literally, to be read as change) overnight. I mean as quick as a drop of hat...really. I never happened to meet anyone so fickle minded. Changes do come, i agree but there is a structured phenomena for it..right ? Change in attitude, surroundings, job place, roles of life make differences to what you are but certainly not too quick. We get into a new role, observe it, analyse it, evaluate our compatibility to them, making choices of to be or not-to-be and then if found worthy we do change ourselves. Trust me, nothing is tougher than getting our own selves into a compromise with new things. 

Now, what if i say that it all proved a past story for me. Yeah, for a reasonably rigid difficult-to-mould personality. If given a chance i would throw a bash of kisses for the one who propounded "Its difficult to understand a girl's heart". See, he understood the entire breed so correctly. And definitely i am one of them and will remain so until & unless any exceptional list is provided for the saying. To be honest enough, Tanmay has seldom never complaint of me complicating things unnecessarily, blowing petty issues out of proportions, playing a game of Guess What/do you read my heart bulletin everyday (after all, one who says things straight at face is not a girl) etc etc. So we have always been confident that i don't come to the list of demanding fiance who doesn't let go a moment of stealing the show.

And then it happened...without any clue.

Sinjara - is a ceremony done a day before Gangaur (Parvati ji) & Teej, two of the biggest festivities of rajasthan. Basically Sinjara is done for newly wed/to be wed DIL by her in-Laws. Gifts like saree, sweets (Ghewar, to be precise), jewelry are bought to the girl's house, where she gets ready with all 16-singaar. Gifts are exchanged between families and songs of Gangaur maa are sang. Next day, the girl do gangaur puja, elaborated meal is prepared & ladies do sing, dance & pray for a good husband/long life of husband (Little confusion, you know). In and all its a ladies thing which never appealed to me until yesterday. From yesterday morning till the moment i write this (yes, i am still hopeful) i desperately want a sinjara for me. Though the day has already gone but somehow i am clutching to the hope. I too want to wear a saree, do make up & ready to receive hands full of gifts. If you think that i am getting inspired by my mother or anties who do so then let me make it clear that it's not done in our family. It's a typical Jaipur flavor which my family fails to gorge. 

So what, any day is good enough to start with a new thing. If it all can come to my mind, affect my mind & heart by ultimately breaking it into millions of pieces can't these elders sense & act on it. Now that i am almost sure that nothing exciting can happen, i pray to Gangaur to please flush out these super exciting ideas of getting a doll treatment for myself from my mind.

PS - When Tanmay was told about the super heighted & far reached excitement in my adrenaline for it, he lovingly asked me about what all is done & promises all this to me for next year.

My Lost words

search gets profound
you are still lost without a trail
i am losing my nerves
but there is no way to get you back
did we have a real bad fight
or you are enjoying this game
what is it which is keeping us alone
or you holds back your wish to get along

Is there any wrong done by me
which hit & hurt you acutely
if it's so, please come back to me
i promise i ll be treating you judiciously
the space is vacant and shall so it remain
no more did i feel my warm breath
our unspoken bond is losing its edge
come oh friend before its shread

don't you notice my lonely nights
when you head for your leisure run
a fresh piece, a fragrant new ink
hopes everyday to be used
its all for you for shall be forever
none can & never shall take your place
do you realize how anxious i get
do some soothe oh my lost words

I bow down to you

Her laughter, her grace, her presence & embrace

lights up a house...life...& every vacant space

the moment she take off her eye from you

anxiety grips without any clue

poised is she folded in serenity

little did she say when you hit her dignity

a master of patience she always proves

when nothing is undone to call her a "loose"

she accepts it all with a passive smile

to know her, be in her shoe & walk a mile

No less has been written about Kiran Bedi, Kalpana Chawla, Indira Gandhi, Aishwarya Rai Bacchan on women's day, but while writing the above lines trust me none of these names struck my mind. Who all i was reminded of are :

My Grand mother, who married a freedom fighter, a life tossed on the orders of British Government. She rescued him from the brutal hands by hiding him under her train berth for a day.

My mother, aah she gave it all to us irrespective of how mean we get with her at times.

Young "Beauty" who arrives with an infectious smile to clean our home everyday.

Mamta, who would not miss a piece of dirt on road even in her 7th month of pregnancy.

Honestly, these all ladies has been an epitome of dedication & fervor in whatever they do. They signifies strength, power, positivity, elegance to me.

Stay powerful & keep radiating your eternal strength. 

Will you dance on my tune ?

Oh how i wish

                                                                                                           

you to be soft as silk

creamy & fluid so much as milk

with power of tons to stay at your place

no matter how brutal be attempts to debase

Pic courtesy : Google

How i dream

to turn, twist and toss

touch of red to make you gloss

sometimes a bun, a sloppy curl

& some layers to add to the whirl

Pic courtesy : Google

Now, when i see

you losing your roots

                                                i skip a breath, my wish gets dilute                                            

ends get split and not to be displayed

and who is to be blamed for the grey shade

Pic courtesy : Google

Oh i go sad

when i see you dry

worse it become no matter how i try

oiling doesn't help, wavy you get

magic is lost, or you want some "set wet"

Pic courtesy : Google 

Only when #doveplay  comes to help

my long lost hopes gets some feed

                                        soon shall be the day when you ll be freed                                        

left-right, up-down will i make you strewn

you will be flawless, dancing on my tune  

Pic courtesy : Google 

                                                 
                                      (The dove play song - Make your hair dance on your tune)

    (This post is written for #doveplay contest conducted by Dove in association with IndiBlogger)

Are we all good ?

With the kind of bold and open society we claim to be living in, why do every other silly & carefree comment on us make us feel offended. Why do we never miss doing a mouthful publicity of all, without giving it a thought. Why is it such that the lines drawn of dignity & respect is being rashly passed over. People we do trust turns out to be a snake in sleeve in no time. How come after being betrayed for long, we just could not develop a sure-to-do test for master minds. 

In fact how could we ?

Are there still any checkpoints to be verified for the people we meet, to ensure guaranteed safety & security, both physically & mentally. Every time we develop a structured methodology to judge people, it's futility laughs at your own face. I personally don't agree to the idea of judging every one. Is it not good enough sometimes to get along without forming opinions. Yes, it is. But these days, its equally hard to go hand in hand out in bright daylight than it is for a night out. Either day or night, sin is every where. It's getting increasingly depressing day by day to see people turning their back to their virtues. 

No consideration-No values-No humanity. Though our clothes proudly declares "Being Human". 

When our rulers lectures the world about the majority of youth in our population structure and promises to be a super power in years to come, at the very next page you read about a suicide committed by a college-going vibrant girl because her Bf doesn't took her call. Yes, its true. Is it the youth energy & power we rely upon ? Why is every other teenager a victim of abuse, exploitation and breakdown. Why do girls have only option to wear high-heels instead of a high held head. Why is every girl conscious of a male presence by her side when she walks alone. Scary it is, isn't.

Time, no doubt has advanced a lot but since every boon comes at a cost, this time our physical & mental well being are at stake. And for that matter, lets not forget that a deformed mind is worst than a deformed body. The outcomes are deadly. Its nothing better than a chronicle disease which has no vaccination for its remedy. 

So, Stay Strong to fight it back, never let it overcome. Stay positive. Be Good & do good to all.

(This post is no Janhit mein jaari message. Its nothing more but an array of my thoughts.)

Hold on to HOPE

Hope..

were you asleep when i called you last
i am seeking for relief your presence imparts
all fingers are at me & i am blamed                                  
dirt is spoken without a dash of shame

looking around i see no escape                                        
throat gets dry, reasons lost their ways
fake are the words of sympathy & solace
their twisted smirk never do lose its place

i long for a breath, with morning dew
when i can forgive, forget & get anew
I quit to care & cut loose connection
"you all will be past", i hopefully mention

Kya aap bhi serious rehte hai !!

Meeta gave herself a last look of admiration. Her careless green top, slipping from her inviting shoulder, perfectly matched with blue skirt, flaunting her effortlessly dazzling figure. A hint of kohl & a touch of gloss make her look like a diva. "I promise to make this date unforgettable" - she said to herself.

Picking up her blue tote, she stepped out of her flat. "Oh gaud, these grumpy aunties again" she exclaimed in a voice loud enough to make the bunch of clad in 6 yard cloth, look at her. She tried looking the other side, sparing her the to-come-well wishes. 

"Arey beta aaj kaha chal di ghumne" the leader asked in an kadak tone doing a head to toe surveillance. Determined to avoid any dreadful situation, she kept walking & replied "kuch nhi antie bus friends k saath dinner". 

Auntie A almost blocking her way - Arey ye konsa naya hair color lagaya h..bata to zara. Mein ne to chinki ko saaf mana kr diya ye sub krne ko kal ko koi kahe "ladki ko bigad diya".

While Meeta tried to recover and smile weakly, Auntie B - Aaj kal to yehi sub chalta hai bhai, roko bhi to koi maanta kaha. Wo kya kehte h "cool" ban na hai naa to ye sub zaruri hai. Aur kuch nhi sub TV ka kiya dhara hai dekho naa serials bhi A Grade aate hai. Bade acche lagte hai ka wo bed scene yaad hai, mjhse bhi nhi dekha gya.

Meeta again tried her best to escape with her "Acha antie chalti hu" when suddenly the leader spoke again - Aur ye akele rehne wale baccho ka to pata he nhi chalta. Sub man marzi karte hai. Abi dekho to meri mausi k bhanje ki beti bina bataye live-in mein reh rhi thi. Wo to parents surprise dene pahunche tub pata chala. Such kahu, aisa kaam to aaj tak pure khandaan mein kisi ne nhi kiya. Mujhe to apni shreya ki badi chinta.....sob sob....hoti hai...endless sobs

Not losing a moment to be kind Meeta offered her sympathy, looking at her watch. Nhi auntie, aise thodi hota hai. Aap chinta mat kariye.

Auntie B - Haan Bhabhi g, har ladki aise thodi hoti h (glancing at Meeta). 

Meeta - Still standing with them, dumbstruck, looking around for fresh air. She is already late by 20 mins. She took out her smart phone and was about to answer her whatsapp when the dormant participant activates.

Auntie C - Aaj kal ki to baat he kya kare. "Wo" b bada common ho gaya hai. Bacche bhi aise baat karte hai jaise ki koi aam baat ho. Apni pichli building mein jo wo doctor hai naa keh rahi thi ki aaj kal to 17-18 saal ki ladkiya bhi "us k" liye aati h clinic. Meeta beta, tujhe bhi to mummy papa ne pure vishwaas ke saath yaha rehne bheja hai naa kabhi unhe dhokha mat dena beta. Tu to jaanti hai naa building mein aur bhi bacche hai unpe kya asar padega.

Before she suffocates any more, Meeta opened her bag, took out Cadbury 5 Star, grab a bite and offer the rest to #conditionserioushai anties. No more ready for an endless thank you mourning story, she turned to leave. Just before she drives away she called out -

Auntie date pe ja rhi hu boy friend ke saath. Aur haan, boy friend apni building k 5th floor pe he rehta hai:)

This post is written for #condition serious hai contest hosted by cadbury 5 star in association with Indiblogger.

If given a chance...

Unlike the usual love stories of present age, Mine & Tanmay's relation has always been without those extra greasy layer of explicit romance. PDA has never been our forte in spite of trying our best to look like an inspirational couple among crowd. We two look like "so-very-normal-friends" while our coffee dates, dinners & long drives. Our so-called-romantic encounters has always ended into a hearty laughter getting us tears with a post explanation session of "why do we try this even !!!!". And in an attempt to get this as smooth as my skin (after all, i love myself), i have terribly failed making it worse than before. Yes, i always plays the spoil sport when it comes to get lovey-dovey. I am well aware of the precious pain my man takes each time to flatter me with his "residual fancy genes" but my "ever shining too realistic genes" always let it go for a toss. Very few has this unbeatable capacity to grief for "Yellow dal" served on first dinner date...*face plam*. Rest is all history...

This valentine week suffered too. Yeah, he tried to make me cupid-stuck yet again with his proposal on "Propose Day" and I as usual gaining a better rank with every attempt, thrashed it badly :(. Poor soul, he should have given up much before. Unaware of the severe repercussions, this season of love is going too dry & deficient to be associated with the worldwide celebration of love day. However, an idiotic me displaying my art of "all teeth out" recently committed a blunder in conversation with him. I renamed the Valentine Week  as per my convenience & here it goes :

Day 1 - Rose Day  Annoying day

Day 2 - Propose Day Some more annoying---Whinnying day

Day 3 - Chocolate Day Sarcasm day

Day 4 - Teddy Day trying-to-be-good ending with complaints day

Day 5 - Promise Day Ready-to-pounce day (not to mention, pouncing out of anger)

Day 6 - Kiss Day Explaining love---Are we still in love Day

Day 7 -Valentine Day Self realization Day (ending with a promise to get back Romance. For me at least to respect his attempt of romancing)

He has still not come one with the facts written with a perfect detailing tone. But no sooner, he would read this my evening will turn adventurous. 

PS : Who says courtship days gives you best memories to be cherished forever !!! I have still not got any moment comparable to our not-official dating days. Those days of "cooking stories for a day out, conscious of the fact not-to-be-caught" were a bliss. If given a chance i would like to live it once more....after all jo maza chupane mein h wo batane mein kaha...

Though i have been the same from the very first day but these days blaming it all on the forthcoming shaadi makes it easy for us.

Yellow

Oh dear Yellow, come to me

for you make me warm
and the air get reforms
you spread light and brings in twilight                                      
wings do open & world revives
                                                                                               
Oh dear Yellow, stay with me

friend, your presence is always adored
figures gets to hit just the right chord
with you, starts the blissful day
water flows seamless while the daffodils sways

Oh dear Yellow, you are mine

your merry face gets me a beam
cheer me up & life looks-like another dream
when you play your game on my face
i stand with my might, for the earth to embrace

Oh dear Yellow, make me full

get me your eternal energy fraying all dull
lit every corner with smile & lull
be my tee or else a clutch
coz your touch make me yen for much


(Today is Basant Panchmi. For the matter of fact, i have not done any pooja or had anything Yellow to eat. To me, its just a day when people wear yellow and i love to see lot of it around. Yellow, is my color.)

Lot that happens daily !!!

There is so much activity around me these days. Discussions, decisions, arguments, sympathy, concern, fear, anxiety, confusion and what not. Believe me, the list is still incomplete. Before you guess let me clear it to you that my house is not Aam Aadmi Party's headquarter where you can see a bunch of people sulking in the background of power. Here the race is different. When the opponent is resting, he is blamed...when he wakes and try to roar, he is blamed some more...finally when he speaks, there is a tsunami of blames flowing. Things are accepted as they are without a word of protest, followed by a round of mild complaining, if responded with a dose to fight back, the complaints suddenly transforms into who-said-we-have-a-problem thing and if shown sympathy the mild complaints progresses to endless grumping which for sure ends with a We are ok verdict.

Did i ever think this to be a routine in our peaceful abode. No, never. Honestly speaking this is a serious issue (yeah, the one i wrote in above lines) with immense complexity attached to it. To say it or not, its affecting everybody associated with it. Why do we want others to say the same we want to hear. Even if we know it wont happen, why don't we put off the burning candle of hopes and expectations inside us. The warmth of expectations keep us comfortable for a while but what it's been abruptly put to an end. Is there an end to desires ?? Don't we sometimes expect too much ?? Too much from us, too much of it from others and then it becomes a habit. Habit of giving expectations through our words & actions and in return of coarse a multiple round of fulfillment of our own expectations. Even though we want the things to be in motion we have a problem with its gait. And plus, there are so many things which should have been said but are missed and many unwanted declared with authority.

There is no harm in doing all this. That's the way things have been done in past and trend is not yet changed. I am still too small to bring about a change or lets say talk about changes. They listen, nod in agreement and it ends. Earlier when i didn't see things closely, it didn't registered to my senses. However, last few months i have been tossed and torn by worldly affairs. I am hurt, yes, i am and there is no way out of this agony except for to let it pass. Or rather, i should be happy looking at the beaming faces who are dancing to their own marry-tunes. 

Meanwhile, I want to stay in peace, grow up to these realities, knitting my own space which would assure a fresh air and warmth of sun to me.

PS - Now i have created a mess here. Started with A, followed by M and ending with F. aarrggghhh....after reading this you ll definitely understand my position. Just like this post leaves you puzzled, i go off my balance everyday. 

55 Words Fiction - Hurry Up !!!

Fastest did he run but could not get her. It has been a routine. She arrives with her own charm and leaves without a thank-you speech. His senses has betrayed him again. Uff..when would he understand the cue of her leaving.

He feebly walked back, frustrated. Effects of missing your beloved "The Local". 

Between US

why do you stop, when i want to fly
didn't you said you should give it a try
are your words not true to me
or its simply we don't agree
have you forgotten the bond once alive                              

and i shall stay alone and deprived
do you hear what the world says
these two are soon to part their ways
are you listening or it only echoes at me
pillow is wet but you rarely see

gone are the days of me being carefree
an empty bean bag appears way too scary
how and what revolves around us
when you don't bother why should i fuss
control and patience still rule my soul
a bruised heart & drooping eyes are hard to console
its your duty to be theirs first
time will do, and it wont hurt
i pray we shall never cross our ways
for the pain never wants to show its face

Say "I do"...

promise me a stronger you
when storm surrounds without a clue
ground is lost and blue is the hue
be by my side to break it through

promise me a touch so tender
close my eyes and let me wonder
you are the reason for everything splendor
stand on my feet and take a meander

promise me a day to ask
of shattering glows and all my gasps
days to come, those that pass
and the things which shall forever last

promise me a hut at height
shoes of snow that might bite
a fire place to lit every night
warm red blanket to make us hide                                                            
promise me a hearty laughter
for every call which you answer
a platter of joy and a novel banter
piles of life and fun to remember

Are you on the same journey ?

It has been quite a time when i updated my space. No doubt, i was busy seeking something. Ray of light in thick fog, a hard working day, moments of excellence, times of affection, challenging fears....and the list goes on. And it usually ends with the same - Seek and perhaps you will find. Then reality downs upon that you have been moving around the bush, there is no start and no end, most likely you ll arrive at the start after you finish. Next time, you would mark your beginning, sure of reaching your destination. Give a kick start to your journey promising a perfect finish to it. Thou keep moving on, delighting at the pleasure of be a master this time and it seems endless. You may come a long way without getting the aspired or may end up at the start mark realizing it to be the Best. 

The search is never ending. Though it appears easy to some, the destinations sometimes just seems to deny an agreement with you. The comfort you seek turns out to be the most painful. A break from the run you want but sorry there is no time for it. Timeless it has to be. There are points where u want to stay, relax a bit and sip in to the fullest---before you think of it---a sinking feel of discontentment appears. And then, it starts again. There would be people who would want you back, hold you for ever, making a life with you, will make you skip a beat..you would stop, give a convincing smile, without losing a moment to move ahead, though craving for the offerings throughout life. 

Today morning i happened to listen some of the lines - 

Mere mann ye bata de tu, Kis or chala hai tu

Kya paya ni tune kya dhundh rha hai tu

Jo hai ankahi, jo hai ansuni, wo baat kya h bata

Mitva.....kahe dhadkane tjhse kya

Mitva.....ye khud se tu na to chupa

So true it is. May be not for all but for a major chunk. What do we seek..Once we get it, it no longer holds the same value, we take it for granted and set off for an undiscovered pleasure, continuous exploring steals the delight of sitting back for a while with what we have. Sometimes, our eyes just see the moments getting slipped while we stand pinned to the notions of yet to come. It looks as if there is no absolute happiness, everything is relative. Relative to what we had earlier, what we could and what everyone else has. It takes no long for us to let pass a small joyride. There are numerous assumptions and chances on which we rely forgetting the colors spread around. That is the reason probably why people liked movies like 3 idiots, taare zameen par  & ZNMD coz those 3 hours showcased the hidden and so obvious things which are almost forgotten. We love spending few hours with characters who enact "aware-of-every-felicity" but badly fails to follow the same. I wish we all could enjoy the only life we have to the fullest.

While everyone is eager to make life dance on their tune, try to move with the music of life and Believe me, you wont lose anything.

There are no thumb fight

Coffee mugs are no more alive

Where are the two who had it all

One is on tour, other on the call

even if they now sit together

Its's just investments which are talked about,

without a glance at the b'ful weather

rush they do for the targeted number

Early morning walks are now a blunder

though they fear to be alone

Still the love is rarely shown

come soon the day when they will miss

you, tea and the early morning kiss