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Wednesday 9 December 2015

Every Night & day


At night when I wake up surrounded by shadows
yes, shadows which follows me everywhere
at the corner we sat, oh the mirror which saw us
bed we shared, laughter that echo
I try to run away from all
only to reach still more near

I try to find you, search everywhere
stop playing this game - I think
I light a candle to make it easy
& there I can see you sleeping
right in the usual corner tugging sheet
there you are, I curse myself

I try to move you, soothe you
box you, kick you
yet, so stern
I called you out, plead you
still, no answer
Tired, I give up

I am too scared to sleep now
try to stay as close as possible
shadows are far behind, I wonder
I wait for light to come
for your opened eyes
& toxic smile

Light come, it takes over
I feel the burn
a pain, a sharp one
I melt, dripping onto you
Heat engulfs, take me with it
I battle, fight it alone, every night...every day









 

Sunday 29 March 2015

Adhoora mera naam

kagaz ke ek kone par
adhoora likha hua mera naam
andekha kar yun palat diya tumne

jaise sagar ki gehrayi ko chu kar
guzarne wali koi benaam lehar ho
jo aati to sagar ke beech apna basera banana
par panah kaha pati hai…..

jaise kisi kavi ki aprakashit
sharmsar hui rachna
likhi to wo bhi gayi usi anubhavi kalam se
par zikr kaha pati hai….

Mano kisi chitrkaar ki bemel rango se saji
Koi adhoori si pari-kalpana
Jo puri hone ki umeedein lgati
Par upekshit he reh jati hai…

Saturday 28 February 2015

I'll take care next time, mummy ji

The title is certainly not the line i would say to my mom. Definitely not. After all, moms are doting in spite of suffering all the calamities we create knowingly. Moms are just so different. But i fail to understand the immense change which comes along with words "in-law". Yes, the nasty creature, nightmare of almost every bride to be --- Mother-in-law. She claims herself to be a mother & at the same time make sure that you realize the difference of being in "sasural" with her every taunt she innocently hits at you. While, we the freshers in the game can only manage a week smile in response. I didn't  understand as to why girls detest their MIL till i face the trauma of being with her in the absence of my poor better half (poor soul, i pity him for being too much love in with both the ladies).

The whole incident, what do i feel about it, how do my MIL feel it is & the perspective of the extended family (yeah, they should come first when its between MIL & DIL) would require me to write a book with a new edition releasing in every 6 months. However, i bravely take the allegation on my head to point out some of the peculiar features you can expect out of a MIL. Here it goes :

1. She leaves nothing undone to share her accomplishments about how well she managed her big family, what not she has done to keep the bonding alive, how happily she gave up all her hobbies & pleasures to make a family & etc etc. Wouldn't these pearls of wisdom work better as a speech by Nirupa Roy had she received a Lifetime achievement award.  

2. The child-like harmlessness she has while smacking you hard with her razor-sharp comments leaves you weak in knees in a gathering. Knowingly or unknowingly, you could annoy her at any unearthly hour at the drop of a hat. 

3. Trust me, "Palla" is something as debatable and controversial as Delhi residents receiving free water, electricity & WiFi. I wonder if our esteemed composers ever thought of this before writing "tera Pallu sarka jaye re, pallu latke gori ka pallu latke....." when the first thing any MIL would want is not even an inch moving palla. I regret the interrupted views of our gasping husbands for the backless cholis.

4. How difficult it would be to keep aside the happy moments, jokes & laughter you both shared & just taking down the negatives the careless girl has. Grumbling at every care free moment she enjoyed assuming it be her "own home" is not an easy task. Well, you really did some home work, mummy ji.

5. Do you really have an idea of how to fulfill the double rounds of expectations while attempting to save your own identity. Firstly, of your caring son who would love to persistently try  to show he has got the best suitable girl for the family. Secondly, comes you with an attached string of your social circle (whose expectations is definitely yours). While, the girl tries to breath & unfailingly asks herself "Who am I ?" Believe me or not, but you are possibly making a future MIL one of your kind. Period.

Some significant part of the untold story which i went through fortunately at an early stage of my marriage where people mostly tries to be friendly & loving to each other. If ever ask what all does it take to be a good DIL, i will reply "Sanity". Yes, it leaves you frustrated cringing for a dose of compassion which will always be absent at the moment. Whatsoever be it, I wont give up on the fact that some relations need more of time & space to get going & I am certainly not a fairy with a magic wand. And i couldn't agree more to the fact that yes, it do take away the warmth of the new knot tied but lets see how long does it takes to fill the gap. 




Monday 16 February 2015

cravings...

For the sake of last night

come to me again
with more of passion
love & affection
sparing nothing undone
with a stronger you
& a devoted me

For the sake of the quiet whispers

closer to my ears
say all that is untold
things even you cant hear
which let my heart go to you
my soul when gets high
a playful unending night on it rides

For the sake of the hot breaths

patting my cold shoulders
creeping down my spine
& electrifying the night
hands in hands held so tight
couldn't i even move slight
& our love shall blossom tonight

Wednesday 4 February 2015

Khudgarzo ka bazaar

Shehar ki tang galiyo se guzarte mein ne
jub ek naya sa bazaar dekha
bhara hua yun logo se mano koi khel tamasha ho
rangeen sa, apne hone par ithlata hua wo befikar laga
paas jane ko aatur kadam fir badhe usi ki raunak ko
dekhu to mein bhi ja ke to jis jagah sub he chal pade

roshni ki tez dhaar k beech
kuch chehre jaane pehchane se lage
roku jub tak kisi apne ko bheed mein ghum ho wo chale
rukne ki manahi jaise, sub chale hai apni dhun mein he
bawli si mein he dekh rhi hu un aate jate chehron ko
ye kaisa manjar hai jiska na koi or na chor hai
na koi kuch kahe yaha, na he koi kisi ki sunta hai
mol bhaav to yaha bhi hai dikhta
par na jane kon kharid-daar, kis cheez ka hai sauda
thokar se aage aa kar, dekha tumhe bhi mashroof wahin
hairani hui kuch aur kuch khushi mehsoos bhi ki
par ye kya, tum bhi andekha ansuna kar nikal gye
koshish karti tumhe pane ki chali ja rahi mein bhi

ab jub tum nazar ki seema ke paar ho
to thake kadam mera bojh utaye vapas chalne ko hai
tumse krne ki shikayato ki suchi ko rachte-rachte
laut chali mein apne ghar ko vapas usi raah
kautuhal to ab bhi tha ki ho kar kis gali aayi mein
bahar aakar jub dekha to "Khudgarzo ka Bazaar" wo tha



Friday 9 January 2015

Muskurate he rehna...

jo na hote tum yun beparwah
to kaise lagta pata ki paas ho ke bhi doori ka ehsaas kya hota h
jo karti na tumhari aankhein muh fer ke humse guftagu
to ye judaai ka afsana fir kaise baya hota
jo ye waqt lata na humein aj is dorahe par
to ye pyaar ki di kasmo ka such kaise pata hota
jo ye kadam ab uth rahe hai tumse dur jane ko
inhe na roko ab kyun ki hamara zaruri h jana
jo ye pal hamare bina ki ho haseen tumhare
to fir kehna ki jane se bhi baharein gulzaar hoti h
jo humne kya hai khoya wo shayad tum kya samjhoge
to fir jub na he samjho to fir tasalli de Muskurate he rehna....